Marathon Training...What Am I THINKING??!! ....Literally.

(Please ignore the gazillion grammatical errors that I am certain are in this post.  I typed it quickly as I thought of the words.  Lots of room for errors here.)

I am in the midst of training for my first marathon.  The December 8th date is quickly approaching.  I have been following a training schedule that I found online so that I could be prepared for the LONG 26.2 mile race.  Completing a marathon has forever been a personal goal of mine, but haven't been able to figure out how to squeeze in the time for training until my boys (now ages 13, 9, and 8) got a little older and less demanding.  My current training schedule is to complete my long runs on Sunday mornings before anyone starts stirring.  The rest of my shorter runs are crammed between school and football practices, during practices, and sometimes after dark.  I fit them in whenever I can manage. 

 

Today is Sunday....it is my long running day.  It is now afternoon, and the sweat from my run has long ago dried, but the run was just this morning, so I remember almost every step of it. I remember what I was thingking and feeling. Before I became the distance runner myself, I always wondered what the runners must be thinking and feeling as they pounded out mile after mile after mile. I wondered how in the world they talked themself into running so far. So, I decided that I would record it.  Record MY thoughts during my run today.  My thoughts today while running were exactly typical of ANY other long run I have ever done.  I have noticed that I kind of "zone out" and think the same things over and over.

 

  My day started at 6 am this morning.  I awoke sluggish, but ready to complete a 13 mile training run before time to get ready for church.  I put some biscuits in the oven and started the timer so that when the boys began to stir, the could help themselves to breakfast. I grabbed a protein bar for myself, drank some water, laced up my shoes, grabbed my cell phone and ipod and headed out the door.

Now.....pretend you can actually READ my thoughts during my run.

Prerun:
Brrrr.  It's freezing out here.  And it's drizzling. Crap.  2 hours of this is gonna be miserable.  Maybe I should just NOT run.  No.  I gotta run.  If I don't I will be behind schedule.  Dang.  I hate the cold weather.  I better get going.  I am starting later than I should've.

To Mile One:
Good heavens it is cold!  I should've gotten my hat to keep this rain off my face.  I hope it stops raining.  I hope it doesnt rain during the real marathon.  Cold rain stinks.  Sheesh. I wonder where the dog is?  He always runs with me.  I hope he isn't dead.  Oh my goodness, if Davy is dead, then the boys are goona be devastated.  I wonder why he didn't come running?  Maybe he is sleeping.  Maybe he will join me later.  I hope Davy is ok.  First mile always seems so hard!  Why can't I breathe?  Hmmm...should I just keep running on my regular path to the tree and back over and over?  I get so sick of running that same mile and back over and over.  If I go farther to the cemetery down the road, then I won't get so bored.  But there are hills that way.  And it is farther from the boys.  But I like the run there...maybe I should go to the cemetery today.  But what if the dogs are out of their pens on the way.  I hate dogs.  I hate hills. I like the cemetery.  I think I will do it.

To Mile Two:
I am so glad I headed toward the cemetery.  I love this downhill part.  This is gonna make the run seem better because the scenery is different.  This was a good choice.  I hope I don't have to stop to go to the bathroom today. Is that a dog?  Oh my gosh, I hope these people didnt let their dogs out to pee early this morning.  If the dogs come to attack me, then I can climb up on that fence.  Or that tree.  I can call for help.  I will call Daddy.  Please....please....please let the dogs NOT be out.  No dogs. No dogs. No dogs.  Daddy will hurry if a dog attacks me.

To Mile Three:
Thank goodness there were no dogs in that section.  This road is so beautiful.  I love how the trees kind of hang over on both sides.  These downhills are so nice.  running around this cemetery is really neat.  I wonder if PawPaw Curt sees me running?  His headstone is really pretty.  Mama did a good job picking it out.  Hey, PawPaw!  I miss you.  Man, this hill running out of the cemetery is harsh. 

To Mile Four:
Good grief!  Why did I come this way!  These hills are ridiculous!  Them don't seem big at all when I am in my car.  That is so weird.  Oh, dear heavens!  I am gonna die!  I don't know if I can make it.  I might have to walk some.  No.....keep running. Power through the uphills so that I can relish in the downhills. Power through. Power through. Argh.  I need to walk.  No...don't do it. No....No...just jog slowly.  (Hearing Dory's voice off of Nemo)......Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...LaLa..lala....just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. Just keep swimming...lala.  Why does that stupid song help me?  I am not even swimming.  It's insane when that song pops into my brain. Who could find support from a memory deficient cartoon fish besides me?  I'm a weirdo.  I hope there are no dogs when I pass by these houses again.  They weren't out before, maybe they will still be put up.  Thank goodness I made it back past all those darn hills!  Why did I even go that way?! What was I thinking?  I knew there were hills.  Hills are hard.  I wont come this way again today. I am happy to be almost back in front of my house.

To Mile Five:
I gotta use the bathroom.  Dang.  Why do I always have to use the bathroom on my run?  This is so annoying.  What if I have to use the bathroom during the marathon and there isnt a portapotty?  I guess I would start walking.  That would stink.  Then I wouldn't make my goal.  Oh, geez.  I hope I make it back home.  I really gotta go.  I am gonna go really fast inside and leave my ipod running.  Its gonna add wasted time to my run, but I gotta go. Hurry. Hurry. I am NOT going that far to the cemetery again.

To Mile Six:
Hey Davy Dog!  You musta been sleeping earlier.  Glad you aren't dead.  You sure do get excited to go for a run.  You are a weird little dog. Let's go, Davy!  I am in a good rhythm.  I feel like I could run forever.  My breathing isn't hard.  My legs feel good.  I'm glad it stopped raining.  When did it even stop?  I didn't notice.  It's getting hot.  It was so cold just a little bit ago.  I'm glad it warmed up.  I wonder if it will be warm on marathon day?  Probably not.  December might be really cold.  Man, I hate the cold weather.  This weather is perfect.  Man, I feel so great. I love running.  I am so glad I am a runner. I am halfway finished.  Maybe I should run back to the cemetery again.

To Mile Seven:
I think I will run back to the cemetery.  It's really pretty there.  I hate just running back and forth to that dang tree.  The same two miles over and over.  But, if I run to the cemetery, I will have to do the hills.  They weren't THAT bad, though.  Plus, I will get to see the pretty trees.  The run is much nicer that way.  Yes.  I will go back to the cememtery.

To Mile Eight:
I hope the dogs aren't out this time.  Why do people even have big dogs?  What is the point?  I hate dogs.  I have my cell phone.  If I see one coming I will dial Daddy while I am running to climb that tree.  I wonder if the dog could reach my legs up on that tree?  Maybe another tree would be better.. Oh, there is a tree I could climb in!  Please  be no dogs. No dogs. No dogs.  Hey....where is MY dog?  Davy must've stopped back at the church.  I didnt even notice he wasnt with me.  I don't see any dogs out.  Thank goodness.  This road is really nice.  It's prettiest in the Fall.  When the leaves start changing.  My Sunday morning runs will be even better when the leaves start changing.  I love fall leaves.  This downhill is awesome.  I wonder if Mom knows I run around the cememtery sometimes and 'visit' with PawPaw?  That headstone is ridiculously pretty. When I die, I hope I have a pretty headstone. Hey, PawPaw!   


To Mile Nine:
These hills are horrible!  Horrible!  Why in the world do I choose to run up these hills??  .....Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming....just keep swimming...LaLalala.  I am so weird.  I am seriously weird.  I am not even swimming! 

To Mile Ten:
So glad to be back closer to home.   We have a really pretty church.  I hope I can get finished and cleaned up in time to not be late to church. I kind of like the familiarity of this route.  Maybe I should've just kept running this same mile over and over.  At least it is flatter.  But, no....I am happy that I ran to the cemetery.  It passed the miles more quickly. I like it there. I am so glad to be back to my starting point to get some Gatorade and a GU packet.  Yuck!  This GU tastes terrible.  Like flavored molasses.  *gag* ....Oh, now THAT was attractive.  *gag* I hope I don't do that on race day in front of people. That would be embarrasing.  I have three miles to go.  I can handle that.  I can't believe I am running a half marathon today and I am not even getting a stupid shirt.  Who cares?  It's just a shirt.  But I really wish I could have one.  I also wish that I was crossing a real finish line in 3 miles....not just running up my driveway.  I wish people would be cheering for me when I finish this half marathon distance.  That's dumb, though.  I am gonna be running farther than this every week until December.  I won't have a finish line and a tshirt every week.  I still wish I had a tshirt. Oh, my gosh!  I can't even believe that I signed up to run 26 miles!  My feet are hurting.  How does this dog keep running so far?  His legs are sooo short!  My little teensy dog is traing for a marathon with me.  I wonder if that is normal for a dog? It seems pretty weird.  How does this dog run so far?

To Mile Eleven:
I am hungry.  That protein bar was good.  I wish I had some more of it.  When I finish running, I think I will put some Nutella on one of those biscuits.  I hope the boys didnt eat all of the biscuits.  A Nutella biscuit sounds so good.  I hope the boys aren't worried about me.  I hope they don't ever get irritated that I go for runs.  They don't act like they mind.  I am hungry.  My toes hurt.  I am gonna have a blister.  I can feel my toes rubbing.  Why do my toes always rub?  I'm glad nothing else hurts.  Two miles to go.  I am hungry.

To Mile Twelve:
Just two miles to go. That is nothing.  Back and forth to the tree.  ......Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...just keep swimming...Lalalala.  I wish I had a cooler mantra.  I should search for a new mantra.  Mine is weird.  Ow.  My toes hurt. Ow. Ow. Ow.  I could eat an egg and cheese biscuit when I get back.  Oh, I know!  I can make my peanut butter and banana smoothie icecream stuff.  Oh, that sounds soooo good!  I wish I had some right now.  I want to take a warm bath, too.  My toes hurt.  I hope they aren't bleeding.  I need some new socks.  Maybe mine are worn out.  I need new shoes, too.  Man, I wore out these shoes quick!  Or maybe, not?  When did I get these shoes?  It's  been a while since I got them.  I need new ones.  My toes hurt.  Its already past 9:00.  I didnt start early enough.  I hope the boys aren't worried.  Ow.  My toes hurt.  I am hungry.  I wish I had a finish line.  I want a tshirt. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming.

To Mile Thirteen:
This is my last mile.  I am running a half marathon today.  Before church!  It seems weird.  I shouldve started earlier.  I am running a great pace, though.  I should be able to make my running goal if I keep running at this pace.  I wonder if I can beat Daddy's marathon time?  That would be cool.  I wonder if he would be upset if I beat him? Nah.  He would be proud.  My toes are hurting.  Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.  I wish I didnt have toenails.  If they would go ahead and all fall off, then they wouldn't hurt when I ran.  I am hungry.  I'm thirsty, too.  I am almost finished.  Almost there.  How in the world is this dog still running? Almost there. 

To Mile Thirteen Point Five:
I'm almost finished.  I can see the driveway.  I see my Gatorade bottle.  Almost there.  ....Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming....Just keep swimming...Lalalala.  When I get home, I can eat some Nutella on a tortilla shell.  I might eat my peanut butter banana smoothie.  I can eat anything.  How many calories does this muc running burn?  I think it's like 1500 or something.  I can't wait to eat something.  Taking a warm bath is gonna feel nice.  I hope the boys are ok.  They wouldve texted if anything went wrong.  My toes hurt. Ow. Ow. Ow. ......just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, just keep swimming Lalalala.  Oh, my gosh!  I am there! It's right there!  Almost!  Almost!  This is the farthest I have ever ran before.  I did good.  I am proud.  I can't believe I have to double this distance eventually.  How will I ever do it?  I did it today.  I am finished.  Yes!  Good job.